


He’s Broke Inside

by julliangray



Category: The A-Team (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 13:31:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21300254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julliangray/pseuds/julliangray
Summary: There are things that you can never escape from
Relationships: Templeton "Faceman" Peck/John "Hannibal" Smith
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	He’s Broke Inside

He’s broken inside, he can feel it, things moving around that shouldn’t, fluids in him that are not his, he’s violated, fouled, ruined…

“Face,” A voice is whispering in his ear.

Soiled, contaminated, filthy…

“Face, stop,” The same voice as before.

Infected, dirtied, polluted…

“Face, stop, you need to…” That voice, the one that he loves to hear so much, the one that he would do anything for, the one that he will never hear again once the owner of it realizes what he is. “Face, look at me.”

He can’t, how can he stand to see the disgust in the older man’s blue eyes, he knows the love in them will be gone, how can anyone want an unclean, stained, fouled, infected…

“Damn it, Lieutenant, look at me.” The voice is insistent and commanding and though he wants to ignore it, he can’t, he never could. 

Slowly he forces his right eye open which is damn near impossible since it is almost completely swollen shut. He will be lucky to see out of the left again. 

“That’s it, kid,” He can hear the voice directly above him, but he still can’t make out its owner through his foggy vision. “Come on, try to focus.”

He feels someone touch his cheek and he tries to flinch back out of the way, but things inside of him shift, grinding bone against bone and all he could do is moan and choke on the bile that rises in the back of his throat. 

“Shh be still, you’re with friends,” the voice is gentle, calm and reassuring it almost makes him feel safe, but he knows there is no safety, not here, not ever again. Face made that mistake once before, allowing himself to believe that he was secure, that he would come out of this situation unscathed and now he is dirty, foul, polluted…

“No, don’t fade out on me,” He feels a pair of strong hands settle on his face; he tries to pull away, but their grip is too firm and he is way too weak to fight anymore. “Come on, kid, focus, stay with me.”

It takes an immeasurable amount of effort, but he finally gets the injured eye to do what is requested of it, when he does he is rewarded with the sight of his commander’s battered, dirty and now bearded face, and it is the greatest thing he has seen in well over a week. 

“There you are.” If he tries hard, he can just make out the older man’s smile. “I was starting to think we might have lost you.” 

One of the hands-on his face moves to brush his filth covered hair off his forehead, and he can’t help but cringe again. Not because of the abuse he’s afraid he’s going to suffer, but because he doesn’t want this man to know what else is in his insect covered mane. 

“Shh, I’m not going to hurt you kid.” The hand is stroking his hair, and while he loves the feeling of it, he’s terrified he’s going to be shoved away in disgust at any moment. “BA, can you bring me some water?”

A moment later he feels a tin cup pressed to his lips and as they part a small amount of water trickles in. He wants to swallow it, to relieve the scorching dryness in his throat, but as the rancid fluid fills his mouth, he gags. 

“Come on Face, you need to get this down,” He can feel a firm hand stroking his throat, and he has no choice but to swallow. 

“Hold it down,” it’s a gentle command, but still a command and Face can’t disobey it no matter how bad he wants too. “That’s it, kid, let’s try another.”

It takes all Face’s power to keep from throwing up the first bit and he tries to shake his head no to more. The pain causes him to moan out, and the cup is once again placed to his lips and water pours inside filling it. This struggle continues several more times before exhaustion finally takes him and he can do little more than pant for breath in his commander’s arms, and as the darkness starts to retake him, Face can only think about how dirty and soiled he is.

*** Three Weeks Later***  
“Colonel Smith, we have a problem.” 

‘When don’t we?’ Hannibal thinks as he looks at the doctor from his hospital bed. 

“I’ll talk to Captain Murdock about playing doctor again.” He said instead, knowing that if that isn’t the problem, then he will have to promise to talk to BA about not growling at the nurses for trying to take his blood. 

“It’s not Captain Murdock, it’s your lieutenant,” the doctor states, and he instantly has Hannibal’s full attention. 

“What’s happened?”

“We took him for x-rays; I needed to check on the other injuries he has.” 

The doctor didn’t need to elaborate any further on what injuries he was talking about; the sexual abuse Face had suffered at the hands of the guards had been brutal leaving him with internal trauma that required specific treatment. “One of the nurses made a comment about how soiled the bandages were, and he became upset.” 

“Upset how?” Hannibal started to rise to get out of the bed, but his wounds forced him back down. 

“Relax, Colonel, I’ve given him a mild sedative…”

“Upset how?” Hannibal repeated while he might be physically weak, his voice still holds power and strength. “What happened?”

“He spaced out and started muttering to himself about being unclean….” As the doctor paused, Hannibal narrows his eyes. 

“Now what’s the rest that you don’t want to tell me?”

“Colonel Smith, I’m recommending that he be discharged under AR 635-200, 5-17.”

Hannibal was a combat officer, he’s been in the service long enough to know his regulations, and this sets his blood boiling. 

“You will not Section 8 that boy,” He growls as he fights against the stabbing pain in his ribs to sit up straighter. 

“Colonel, I understand he’s your lieutenant and that you have been through…”

“No,” Hannibal growls. “There is nothing wrong with him that some R&R can’t take care of.”

“I beg to differ sir; you weren’t in the room…”

“You weren’t in that camp when they tortured him.” Despite the pain, he is in Hannibal moves to the edge of the bed before standing up to his full height. “That boy is not going anywhere except on leave with the rest of his team when he is released from your care.” 

“I don’t believe you understand what you are dealing with Colonel Smith.” 

“I know exactly what I’m dealing with,” Hannibal glares at the physician. “You’re talking about discharging a boy and sending him back to the states with no support system. He has no family, no home, no one outside of his unit.”

“I will make sure that he is sent to the VA for treatment,”

“Then you might as well just put a bullet in his head now because I’m telling you he won’t stay.”

“If you think he will AWOL then I can make sure he is placed in a lockdown…”

“It won’t hold him.” 

“I think you are giving him more credit than he deserves.” 

“I know more about that kid than you can possibly imagine and I’m telling you right now, if you send him back stateside he’ll be dead in six months.” 

“Then tell me what I’m supposed to do,” the doctor finally snaps back. 

“You worry about his physical health; I’ll take care of the rest.” 

“What you are asking me to do is against regulation, not to mention completely unethical.”

“Welcome to Vietnam, Doctor,” Hannibal gave him a bitter smile. 

***  
“How are you feeling kid?” Hannibal asks as he carefully sits down on the side of Face’s bed. 

Ever so slowly, a pair of glazed over blue-green eyes turn to look up at him, and Hannibal can’t help but wonder just how mild the sedative the doctor has given him was. 

“Maybe we should try something a little easier,” Hannibal smiles as he brushes a lock of hair out of the younger man’s eyes. “Can you hear me?”

Ever so slowly Face nods his head as he blinks in an attempt to clear his vision. 

“Good,” Hannibal moves his hands so that they hold the younger man’s face between them. “I want you to listen to me very closely and if you don’t understand, stop me got it?”

Again Face slowly nods.

“Good boy,” Hannibal leans forward to kiss Face’s forehead before sitting back, his hands still on his lover’s face. “The doctor told me you had some trouble earlier, is that true?”

Another nod,

“You were having some trouble focusing on what was happening.”

Face shakes his head no.

“You didn’t zone out?”

Another shake, no.

Hannibal takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

“Can you tell me what…”

“Unclean,” Face mumbles.

Hannibal closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath before letting it out again and stares his young lover in the eyes. 

“You are not unclean; you are not dirty; you are not soiled or filthy…” 

When Face tries to shake his head no, Hannibal tightens his grip so that he can’t turn away and is forced to stare into his eyes. 

“And no matter what those bastards did to you, I will always consider you to be innocent, pure, and untainted.” Hannibal leans forward to brush his lips against Face’s. “You will always be my perfect boy.” 

As he pulls back, Hannibal notices the silent tears running down Face’s cheeks. 

“How can you touch me?” Face whispers.

“Because I love you,” Hannibal smiles at him again. “And nothing in the world makes me feel better than being able to touch you.” 

Face closes his eyes but not before Hannibal sees the pain in their blue-green depths. 

“No, you don’t, you’re not going to shut me out,” Hannibal gently rubs Face’s cheeks with his thumbs. “Look at me, Templeton.”

It takes a moment but Face reluctantly complies. 

“I know you’re having a hard time right now, but we’re going to work through this, you and me.” Hannibal gently kisses Face again. “I refuse to give up on us, and I’ll be damned if I ever let you go.”

The tears are now streaming down the younger man’s cheeks, and as Hannibal gingerly pulls him into his arms, the first sob breaks the quiet of the room and his heart. 

***

“Hey, Face are you ready to go.” John ‘Hannibal’ Smith calls out as he walks through the front door of Face’s scammed apartment. “Hey kid, are you…” Hannibal stops dead in his tracks as the smell of bleach fills his nose, stinging his eyes and burning his lungs. It only takes him a second to realize what this means, and his heart jumps up into his throat. 

“Please, dear God not again,” Hannibal begs as he starts going from room to room looking for his lover. He quickly finds Face in the master bathroom, on his knees bent over the bathtub scrubbing the sides of it as hard as he can. 

“Tem, what are you doing?” Hannibal asks softly as he kneels beside Face. He notices that his lover’s hands are an angry shade of red, with blisters on his fingertips. Hannibal wants to do nothing more than to pull the younger man up and force him out of the bleach filled room, but he knows that it will only start a fight that he is sure he can’t win. 

“This place is a mess,” Face explains as he looks up at Hannibal, his eyes bloodshot, red-rimmed and full of tears. Then as if that explains everything, he turns back to the bathtub and continues his mindless cleaning. 

Hannibal closes his eyes as he fights off the wave of fear that rises in his stomach at Face’s words. His lover’s apartment is anything but dirty, hell he was sure that the floors in Face’s place were cleaner than the plates that he had just run through his dishwasher at home. 

“What do you say we take a little break?” Hannibal coughs as the bleach fumes continue to assault his lungs. 

“As soon as I get this stain out,” Face shakes his head as he continues the clean the spotless tub. 

“Face, I need to talk with you for just a few minutes. It won’t take long.”

“I’m almost…”

“Baby, please” Hannibal gently takes Face by the shoulders and pulls him to his feet. “I’m a little worried about your hands, and I’d like to look at them in the kitchen where the light is better.”

“What’s wrong with my hands?” 

“They’re irritated Tem. How long have you been in here? 

“They’re not that bad,” Face looks down at his hands before looking back up at Hannibal. “Are they?”

“I’d feel a lot better if you would let me look at them.” Hannibal can tell that Face is about to protest, so he gently wraps his arms around the smaller man and guides him out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. He quickly leads Face to the sink and begins to carefully rinse his hands under a steady stream of warm water. Once Hannibal is satisfied that all of the bleach has been washed off he gently dried them, before inspecting for damage. While there are only a few blisters around the edges of Face’s fingers, the younger man’s palms are red and raw, with the first layer of skin missing. Going over to the cabinet under the sink, Hannibal pulls out the medical kit and sets it on the table before sitting Face in a chair. 

“How long have you been cleaning?”

“I don’t know?” 

“A few hours, since you got up this morning, when you came home last night, come on kid how long?”

When Face turns his head away, Hannibal doesn’t probe any further, he doesn’t need to. Reaching up, he gently takes his lover’s face in his hands and turns it so that they were looking eye to eye. 

“What started this Face?”

“I don’t know.”

“Please, kid, don’t shut me out.” Leaning forward Hannibal pulls Face into his arms. “I can’t see you go through this again; we need to stop it now before it gets like last time.” 

Face is quiet for several moments, and Hannibal is sure that he isn’t going to say anything else when the younger man crumbles in his arms and begins to take several deep breaths before speaking. 

“Do you remember the dinner we stopped at a few weeks back?” 

Again Hannibal’s blood begins to run cold, as he thinks about how long Face has been struggling with these demons.

“The one that Murdock insisted that we stop at because of the neon sign is that the one you mean?”

Face nods against his shoulder but doesn’t say anything else until Hannibal encourages him to continue. 

“What about it, Tem?”

“When I picked up my coffee cup and took a drink out of it I noticed there was a bug floating in it.”

“Face, it could have been…”

“It was a roach Hannibal; there was a fucking roach in my coffee cup. I drank out of that cup.” Face cries out as he pushes back away from his lover until they are looking directly at each other.

“Now every fucking time I try to eat I think about that thing floating there, and I get sick to my stomach, and I know those damn bugs are living in my apartment, eating off crumbs …that are on… the floor, and…they are in …the…corners….the cabinets…everything is dirty…and now…”

As Face continues to speak, his breathing became more labored, and Hannibal knows that the kid is close to hyperventilating, and lord only knows what the bleach fumes have done to his lungs. Grabbing the smaller man by the shoulders, Hannibal pulls Face back to his chest and forces the blonde head to his shoulder, before he begins to run his fingers through the soft silky strands. 

“Calm down, Tem, just calm down.” Knowing that he needs to get Face to breathe deep but not wanting him to inhale any more of the toxic fumes Hannibal maneuvers the two of them to the balcony door and outside into the clean evening breeze.

“I need you to take some deep breaths,” Hannibal continues to stroke Face’s hair “that’s it, kid, in and out, nice deep breaths, that’s it breathe for me.” 

Slowly Face begins to calm down, but Hannibal keeps up the gentle words until he is sure that his lover is no longer going to hyperventilate. 

“It’s going to be alright Face, everything is going to be alright, and we’re going to work through this.” Hannibal hugs Face closer to him, knowing that the younger man is not going to like what he is about to tell him. “I’m going to go pack your clothes, and you’re going to move in with me.”

“No, we made a decision to stay in separate places to keep everyone safe” Face tries pull back, but Hannibal easily prevents him by tightening his grip.

“And we also decided that if one of us was sick or injured, then he would bunk up with another team member until the threat was eliminated.” 

“I don’t want to stay with you.” Face sighs as he manages to pull out of Hannibal’s arms. “I love you but,” Face stops not knowing how to continue.

“But what kid?” 

“I can’t stay in your apartment, it’s…” Face runs his hands through his hair, which Hannibal instantly captures before his lover could start pulling on it. 

“Are you trying to tell me it’s not clean enough?” 

“I’m sorry I don’t mean to insult…” 

“I’m not insulted Face,” Hannibal offers the younger man a faint smile, “I understand that things are hard for you right now...”

“Don’t patronize me, Hannibal I’m not some child.” Face snaps as he jerks his hands away.  
Hannibal sighs as his lover’s hands leave a thin trail of blood from where one of the blisters has now popped.

“I can’t stand filth. I don’t like trash.” Face glares at him. “I don’t see how you can stand being around unclean things!” 

‘And there it is,’ Hannibal thinks as he looks at the angry young man standing in front of him. 

It is so much more than just a disgusting roach in his cup, something or someone had made Face feel that he isn’t worthy, that he’s tainted, and now he was trying to change it. Though this has left Hannibal with an even bigger question and that was who has done this to his boy and how bad are they going to suffer for hurting the man he loves once he gets his boy straightened out? 

“I love you,” Hannibal states as he takes a step forward so that he was right in the younger man’s personal space, their chests almost touching. 

“You mean so much to me, Templeton Peck, so, so much.” Hannibal opens his arms, but didn’t reach for Face, he needs to see if the younger man will come to him, he prays Face will; it will make things so much easier if he does. 

“I’m so tired, John,” Face suddenly sobbed as he steps into Hannibal’s arms. “I want to stop, but I can’t.” Another sob racks Face’s body. “I need you.”

Hannibal instantaneously pulls Face tight to his body, “I’m here, baby, I’m here, and we are going to work through this, just like before.” 

A short time later Hannibal has Face showering in the guest bathroom to get the remaining chemical residue off his body. While Face showers he opens all the windows in the apartment allowing fresh air to clear out the toxic fumes. As soon as Hannibal hears the shower turn off heads back to the bathroom to help Face into a new pair of pajamas before putting him to bed along with the promise that he won’t leave him, ever. 

Now lying in the bed with his lover wrapped securely in his arms, Hannibal begins to wonder if he will ever get Face over the psychological damage he’s suffered in Chao's death camp. As he looks down at Face, he runs his fingers over the thin white lines that crisscross the blonde’s back and thinks about everything that his lover had been through. In reality, he should be surprised that Face can function as well as he does, by rights he should count his blessings that Face isn’t in the VA right beside Murdock. But seeing his beautiful boy like this still didn’t make it any easier. Face has so much potential, so much to live for, but Hannibal’s not sure that he will have the life he truly wants for his boy, because no matter what Hannibal tells himself, he knows that Face has something broken inside.

End


End file.
